Customers..Pfftt..

If, like me, you work in an area where you have direct contact with the public, then you’d understand how customers seem to think that because you are behind a counter you become easy prey for verbal abuse.. Ha Ha.. How naive these people are, do you really think this counter is going to stop me spewing profanities back at you!

When you work in a supermarket, it seems to give customers a hierarchy attitude..Quite often they seem to think you are, dare I say it – THICK…  This is very untrue… most people work in a store, simply because it is convenient. It can be quite enjoyable, well.. at least until the customers come in!!!

While on the whole customers are very polite, nice people, there are others that go out of their way to treat you like shit,  trying to undermine you, patronize you, generally make your life hell… they nearly always get away with it because, in a supermarket, you are trained to be polite to any customer. This , to me, is ridiculous.

I’m sorry but if  a customer feels the need to belittle me, a trigger goes off in my head…then the words …. GAME ON!!!!

I might add here, I am in no way qualified in Good English but… if you have no manners or basic politeness I have no time for you.

I find myself some sort of correction master!! My tone changes,  I seem to take on the persona of an old English  Lecturer, looking over my spectacles at this illiterate pleb. I will then go over the top with ps’ and qs’.. adding a please or a thank you in the strangest place, to point out the customer has omitted basic manners from their ‘conversation’..Sometimes it works.. Other times I might just add in a word I think the customer will not even understand, that often works…Fucking idiots!!

Do you think these people get up in the morning with the idea in their pea brains. ‘I know let’s go shopping, then ruin the assistant’s day while we’re at it’..

Just remember the customer is NOT always right… Customers pfftt….

 

 

 

 

Weirdly Me!

So I’m actually thinking I am a very ‘odd’ person. (Anybody that knows me personally, can stop laughing now) Let’s not beat around the bush.. I can be very abrupt, which probably comes across as rude….I have a cynical mind… my view of people, life, emotions is very different from the ‘norm’ me thinks… I cannot and will not sugar coat shit for you…

This, I believe, helps me through my retail job at present…. so I have always been interested in people… not talking to them..uuggghh!!! no… but imagining their lifestyles. Believe it or not. this can be fun, especially if they are uptight and rude…At my place of work a regular, rude, confrontational couple, pretty much moan about anything and everything.. my colleagues do not like to assist these people.. however, maybe my twisted mind tolerates them, because, in my weird little brain, I imagine them as ‘swingers,’ maybe frustrated ‘doggers’ which in turn helps me view them in a different light, and easier to assist.

I find myself returning rudeness to rude people, it (to me) is instinctual. Not always a good thing when you work in retail, but actually I am still a humanish being, therefore you will get as good as you give from me, to my knowledge we do not have a ‘Let’s abuse the staff day’ yet or ‘All assholes welcome.’

The counter between a customer and myself seems to encourage them to behave like utter twats. In my mind they probably have meaningless jobs, or crappy home lives which fuel this behavior. The funniest thing about working is how many lay people like to tell you how to do your job.. maybe I’ll do that on another blog.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life’s a ‘Bitch’

I think we should sort something out right now…to sum up ones’ life..

If it was not for bad luck I would have NO luck at all.. Everyone needs to realize ‘shit happens’ then you die…. As simple as that.

The crap between birth and death has to be tolerated (before I get moaned at , this is MY cynical opinion.) Nothing in life is ever easy, apparently if it is you’re doing it wrong. Life is a challenge…Really ???? just the 1 ???? Nooooooo!!!! Life is ALL  challenging and a tedious endurance most of the time.

Life long question… What is our purpose? Most honest answer I can think of is… ‘Fuck Knows!!!’

To me, life (with the exception of my children) seems to be a stream of disappointing events. One day everything is going to plan, coping well with life and the trials which ultimately occur ,quite nicely. ( Thank-you) then Bang!!!!! Where the fuck did that bloody great brick wall come from?

I am well aware I never do things easily but there is difficult, then there is bloody impossible!!! I seem to hit the latter more often than not…I think this stems from my oddly dysfunctional family.. you know the usual… Aunt Bet won’t speak to Uncle Fred because he said something untoward to her 20 years ago, Aunt Jean and her cousin Jack ran off into the sunset together… and we never talk about Grandads’ antics any more…

So I believe challenges run in the family. When you think you conquered that brick wall, guaranteed another is right round the corner ready to stop you in your tracks, turn you round to another direction, location, pace….Why??? Why does life do that to us????? because life is a bitch!!! that’s why!!!!

I have certainly met my match!!!!!

Ageing..

To finish my blog, I have written a ditty, I hope you enjoy this.

Greying hair, a wrinkly face, aching joints, a slower pace. Losing control of some bodily parts, needing a cough but it ends with a fart.

Failing eyesight, dryer skin, unwanted hair, trouble hearing.. Just a few joys which come with ageing.

We can disguise grey hair, suck in the midrift, pull back the wrinkles with a surgical lift. We try to stay young, keep up with the trends, though I’m not sure how to cease the use of ‘Depends’*

With age comes laughter, wit, sarcasm, honest opinions… maybe an orgasm??? is that what I meant or maybe what I need? I really should go now.. I think I just peed!!!

*Depends.. a brand name for incontinence pads.

 

”Old age is no place for sissies”Bette Davis (part 2)

I also realize as you become older you careless about other peoples’ opinions of you.

If you want to talk about me, so be it. If you feel the need to ‘slag’ me off, so be it. If you do not like me… Who gives a shit? I certainly don’t.. I know that, as I have aged my purpose in life is not to please you.

I also find my mother seems to be talking out of my mouth, I say things waaay before I’ve let my brain filter through the sentences, therefore, it appears I am too blunt in my conversations, I often, not only, put my foot in my mouth, but half way down my throat!!!

Sadly, lack of moisture in our female bodies is another ageing problem, so just imagine…. anywhere in your body which may have natural body fluids, seems dryer, hair, eyes, skin and yes! you got it!!! even your penis fly trap is affected!!! I don’t think I need to tell you this could cause ‘awkward’ moments in a relationship. Alongside this issue (In my case ) lack of sexual interest, to be honest (not that I have a choice at this time being single and all) but I could take it or leave, it seems the flower in my garden no longer needs watering, it’s grown, bloomed and is now shedding it’s petals, if you know what I mean….

Along comes ‘gravity’…’What a bitch that is!!’ So it is not enough that in our younger years we firstly go through childbirth,  then we have to endure the menopause, to top it all off we have our breasticles punctured and lowered without a kiss my ass or nothing… My theory is that boobs are really a female form of bollocks, just they are too big to hang outside our foo foos’

At times, my mobility is quite a challenge  it seems I am unable to move well without sound effects, if I’m not ‘ooohing’ and ‘ahhing’  my bones are clicking or creeking.  I’m thinking, my chances of being a ninja warrior have diminished… I would never be able to sneak up on anyone these days!!

On the plus side of ageing because you careless you laugh more, the fact that  I laugh so hard the tears roll down my legs is completely irrelevant!!

“Old age is no place for sissies” – Bette Davis (part 1)

If you’ve read my previous posts, you should know by now that I’m 49 years old. I’m very happy with my age, just not sure I like the shit that comes with it, if you know what I mean.

I’m well aware that we are all different and I am assuming we all age differently as well. Apart from the usual greying hair and wrinkles, other things start to happen too (to me anyway). Your hair not only turns grey, it thins out too – and not just on your head, let me tell you – under your arms which, let’s face it, is not a bad thing, and pubic hair. Why? Just why? Incidentally, my very first grey hair was in  my pubic area. I s’pose that’s where all my worries went at the time! Not quite sure what I was doing when I found it?

And where on earth does all this extra hair come from? I think someone has turned me upside down because any thinning hair on my nether regions has seemed to materialise on my face to produce a fluffy beard!

You see, us girlies (in my opinion) go through so much more crap physically than them male species – menopause for instance. Do they have menopause? No! Ladies, if you’ve already been through ‘the change’ and come out on the other side, I applaud you! *wolf whistle* Give yourselves a pat on the back!

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Fortunately (or unfortunately) I underwent this process when I was 36, which was very young apparently, but the ladies in our family are known for being impatient. The symptoms are varied but mine included hot flushes (which I still endure sometimes!), heavy periods (which cost a fortune in dracula’s teabags), and just generally feeling very drained, weak and tired. This lasted about a year!

Another downfall of aging is hearing – or lack of. Changes in hearing is common apparently. At present, my hearing seems a little….deranged. My ears zone in on high pitched sounds, for example, whistling, jingling keys – even a crying baby grinds my gears! Yet, I can’t hear someone unless they are looking directly at me. Bizarre

I also believe it is a well known fact that the brain slows down as you get older – no change for me then (#seniormoments)

 

Fishing.

Need a bit of a chat and a cuddle at times, being single’s all good if you’re that way inclined. Let’s look for a ‘soulmate’  if you will, Mr Right. Signed up for a swim on a free dating site.

So, after the sign up, which is really quite nosey, pictures uploaded, all’s looking rosey. With ‘matches’ impending, excitement approaching, I swallow my pride, then ventured on in.

Some profiles are honest which is heart warming, others are strange,really quite alarming. The minute I entered said online site, thousands can see me, like I’ve turned on a light.

It seems it’s an invite for people to look, then message me with words like “Would you blow me or suck” Well I’m up for some banter, but that’s just plain rude, so scroll on down you sick fuckin’ dude.

I’ll continue my quest, one day, well, who knows? Might meet a man, where a relationship grows. Until that time arises, I’ll still live as I wish, but continue scrolling through profiles on ‘Plenty of Fish.’