I might be wrong, but I doubt it….

So then, next episode in my search for a ‘soulmate’

Once I had uploaded and published my photographs, within an hour I had 24 men selecting to meet me and bizarrely 1 woman?? Erm….. had to check I’d pressed the right button (searching for men) after noticing that…

I started doing my chores for a while, came back and, to my astonishment, the initial amount of people had risen to 85 men – still 1 female????

Then I decided to grab the bull by the horns, metaphorically of course, and decided to ‘hit the market’.

If you have never had to look at a dating site, you are to be commended for finding your partner/ spouse all by yourself……round of applause…… However for some of us it has become quite a challenge through one reason or another, usually because we just cannot be arsed to go out hunting for it – me included – therefore we ( probably naively) allow a computer to generate a match for us!!!!

What can I say? on inspecting said profiles it was blatantly obvious that a few porkies were being told!!!  (Aaaaaaand that would be where my cynically Millie pseudonym stepped right on up)

There is a section on all profile pages where you might ‘like to write about yourself’ this would be the section I head toward….

‘ I’m a nice guy really’ is a very popular line in these areas….. my thought straight away is ‘mmmm modest much?’  with a close second of ‘What ya fuckin’ doing on here then?’

‘Must like children’ another regular statement, my initial thoughts are as long as they’re medium/medium rare. Even then, couldn’t eat a whole one; followed by ‘does this mean they have been left with 4 – 5 kids and really what they’re after is a bloody nanny?’

Some self descriptions are quite hilarious, when ‘an athletic physique’ describes some scrawny little dude, the word skeletal comes to my mind…. I like a bit of meat on my men!….

‘Free thinker!’  As opposed to being charged for them…Ermmmm!!!! Yep…. that’s what we all do.. We are British you know!!!

Ethnicity.. Not racist….. Cynical Millie says ‘ that’s probably because I’ll settle for  just about anything at this point’.

Some others:

‘GSOH’ –  I must say, at first I thought this was a spelling mistake, which would join a lot of the others, until I realised it meant good sense of humour. This is quite a generalized saying as *clears throat* that would depend on your type of humour, if you are the type of person that plays childish pranks then I would not find that funny in the least.

‘Must like dogs’ – If you look through my profile, it does say I have a dog! Weirdly, in my head, I’m thinking this may be some secret coded word for a sexual fetish…..

Some men have decided to write ‘I would like to meet a ‘nice’ lady with NO BAGGAGE!!!’ Are you fuckin’ kidding me???? I can hear myself talking like my nan at this point “If, young man, you have not had some form of baggage at my age then you are either self centered and do not give a shit, or you’ve been locked away in a padded room somewhere!!!”

Another feature added to this site is personal messaging. Some of these dudes really have no scruples, straight forward questions. Generally I am happy with this, there are, however, exceptions! one being sex…. just to put it out there guys, NO! NO! and ERRRR!!! Definitely NOT!

 

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