Customers..Pfftt..

If, like me, you work in an area where you have direct contact with the public, then you’d understand how customers seem to think that because you are behind a counter you become easy prey for verbal abuse.. Ha Ha.. How naive these people are, do you really think this counter is going to stop me spewing profanities back at you!

When you work in a supermarket, it seems to give customers a hierarchy attitude..Quite often they seem to think you are, dare I say it – THICK…  This is very untrue… most people work in a store, simply because it is convenient. It can be quite enjoyable, well.. at least until the customers come in!!!

While on the whole customers are very polite, nice people, there are others that go out of their way to treat you like shit,  trying to undermine you, patronize you, generally make your life hell… they nearly always get away with it because, in a supermarket, you are trained to be polite to any customer. This , to me, is ridiculous.

I’m sorry but if  a customer feels the need to belittle me, a trigger goes off in my head…then the words …. GAME ON!!!!

I might add here, I am in no way qualified in Good English but… if you have no manners or basic politeness I have no time for you.

I find myself some sort of correction master!! My tone changes,  I seem to take on the persona of an old English  Lecturer, looking over my spectacles at this illiterate pleb. I will then go over the top with ps’ and qs’.. adding a please or a thank you in the strangest place, to point out the customer has omitted basic manners from their ‘conversation’..Sometimes it works.. Other times I might just add in a word I think the customer will not even understand, that often works…Fucking idiots!!

Do you think these people get up in the morning with the idea in their pea brains. ‘I know let’s go shopping, then ruin the assistant’s day while we’re at it’..

Just remember the customer is NOT always right… Customers pfftt….

 

 

 

 

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Ageing..

To finish my blog, I have written a ditty, I hope you enjoy this.

Greying hair, a wrinkly face, aching joints, a slower pace. Losing control of some bodily parts, needing a cough but it ends with a fart.

Failing eyesight, dryer skin, unwanted hair, trouble hearing.. Just a few joys which come with ageing.

We can disguise grey hair, suck in the midrift, pull back the wrinkles with a surgical lift. We try to stay young, keep up with the trends, though I’m not sure how to cease the use of ‘Depends’*

With age comes laughter, wit, sarcasm, honest opinions… maybe an orgasm??? is that what I meant or maybe what I need? I really should go now.. I think I just peed!!!

*Depends.. a brand name for incontinence pads.

 

“Old age is no place for sissies” – Bette Davis (part 1)

If you’ve read my previous posts, you should know by now that I’m 49 years old. I’m very happy with my age, just not sure I like the shit that comes with it, if you know what I mean.

I’m well aware that we are all different and I am assuming we all age differently as well. Apart from the usual greying hair and wrinkles, other things start to happen too (to me anyway). Your hair not only turns grey, it thins out too – and not just on your head, let me tell you – under your arms which, let’s face it, is not a bad thing, and pubic hair. Why? Just why? Incidentally, my very first grey hair was in  my pubic area. I s’pose that’s where all my worries went at the time! Not quite sure what I was doing when I found it?

And where on earth does all this extra hair come from? I think someone has turned me upside down because any thinning hair on my nether regions has seemed to materialise on my face to produce a fluffy beard!

You see, us girlies (in my opinion) go through so much more crap physically than them male species – menopause for instance. Do they have menopause? No! Ladies, if you’ve already been through ‘the change’ and come out on the other side, I applaud you! *wolf whistle* Give yourselves a pat on the back!

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Fortunately (or unfortunately) I underwent this process when I was 36, which was very young apparently, but the ladies in our family are known for being impatient. The symptoms are varied but mine included hot flushes (which I still endure sometimes!), heavy periods (which cost a fortune in dracula’s teabags), and just generally feeling very drained, weak and tired. This lasted about a year!

Another downfall of aging is hearing – or lack of. Changes in hearing is common apparently. At present, my hearing seems a little….deranged. My ears zone in on high pitched sounds, for example, whistling, jingling keys – even a crying baby grinds my gears! Yet, I can’t hear someone unless they are looking directly at me. Bizarre

I also believe it is a well known fact that the brain slows down as you get older – no change for me then (#seniormoments)

 

I might be wrong, but I doubt it….

So then, next episode in my search for a ‘soulmate’

Once I had uploaded and published my photographs, within an hour I had 24 men selecting to meet me and bizarrely 1 woman?? Erm….. had to check I’d pressed the right button (searching for men) after noticing that…

I started doing my chores for a while, came back and, to my astonishment, the initial amount of people had risen to 85 men – still 1 female????

Then I decided to grab the bull by the horns, metaphorically of course, and decided to ‘hit the market’.

If you have never had to look at a dating site, you are to be commended for finding your partner/ spouse all by yourself……round of applause…… However for some of us it has become quite a challenge through one reason or another, usually because we just cannot be arsed to go out hunting for it – me included – therefore we ( probably naively) allow a computer to generate a match for us!!!!

What can I say? on inspecting said profiles it was blatantly obvious that a few porkies were being told!!!  (Aaaaaaand that would be where my cynically Millie pseudonym stepped right on up)

There is a section on all profile pages where you might ‘like to write about yourself’ this would be the section I head toward….

‘ I’m a nice guy really’ is a very popular line in these areas….. my thought straight away is ‘mmmm modest much?’  with a close second of ‘What ya fuckin’ doing on here then?’

‘Must like children’ another regular statement, my initial thoughts are as long as they’re medium/medium rare. Even then, couldn’t eat a whole one; followed by ‘does this mean they have been left with 4 – 5 kids and really what they’re after is a bloody nanny?’

Some self descriptions are quite hilarious, when ‘an athletic physique’ describes some scrawny little dude, the word skeletal comes to my mind…. I like a bit of meat on my men!….

‘Free thinker!’  As opposed to being charged for them…Ermmmm!!!! Yep…. that’s what we all do.. We are British you know!!!

Ethnicity.. Not racist….. Cynical Millie says ‘ that’s probably because I’ll settle for  just about anything at this point’.

Some others:

‘GSOH’ –  I must say, at first I thought this was a spelling mistake, which would join a lot of the others, until I realised it meant good sense of humour. This is quite a generalized saying as *clears throat* that would depend on your type of humour, if you are the type of person that plays childish pranks then I would not find that funny in the least.

‘Must like dogs’ – If you look through my profile, it does say I have a dog! Weirdly, in my head, I’m thinking this may be some secret coded word for a sexual fetish…..

Some men have decided to write ‘I would like to meet a ‘nice’ lady with NO BAGGAGE!!!’ Are you fuckin’ kidding me???? I can hear myself talking like my nan at this point “If, young man, you have not had some form of baggage at my age then you are either self centered and do not give a shit, or you’ve been locked away in a padded room somewhere!!!”

Another feature added to this site is personal messaging. Some of these dudes really have no scruples, straight forward questions. Generally I am happy with this, there are, however, exceptions! one being sex…. just to put it out there guys, NO! NO! and ERRRR!!! Definitely NOT!

 

Really?

To continue my quest to find companionship.

After filling all the mandatory fields on said dating site – most being the usual, you know eye colour, hair colour, height, weight, shoe size, pubic hair…… oh wait!!! ….. different site…

Anyway after all the relevant, and irrelevant information, it then suggests you may stand more of a chance of meeting someone, if you upload some photographs, that’s no problem I thought to myself.. onward to the next stage…

The site suggested 8 to 16 images…..WHAAAAA!!!!!

Who the fuck has 8 – 16 photos of themselves?…. Maybe I should rephrase that question – Who the fuck has that many photos of themselves they are willing to publish on a dating site? Nearly all my pictures have family in them,they are personal; the others look like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards!!

After sifting through, I found 3, fairly ok photos then took the plunge and up they went. In my opinion if you are so shallow to need a port folio, my life story, my financial history and my psychiatric state (surprised it did not ask my preferred sexual position or any fetishes I may have?) to decide if I’m good enough to meet, then fuck you and jog on mate, that would make you unsuitable for me!!!

‘Hi, I’m Millie. How much do you earn a year?’

Reaching nearly 50 has been an experience (quite often challenging) and has had a lot – again, a lot of ups and downs. I have no idea how I have reached this age but here I am… Phew!!

I am not going to dwell on the downs in my life – everybody does that..BOOORING!!! However I will share the funny, sometimes quirky views on my life experiences. In the end, not one of us gets out alive so you just have to laugh!!

From a young age, I believe I’ve always had a different view of life and how things work. I’ve always been WAY too honest for my own good.. A bully? maybe… Outspoken? opinionated?… Definitely!!!

At this time in my life I find myself joining a dating agency; a very popular, free ( because I hate to pay for anything!) site.

It has taken me 2 days to join, not because I am a computer virgin, but because of all the details it wants me to enter. Surely if I were ever to meet anyone from this site I, for one would have absolutely nothing left to talk about. The other party would know it all!!

Why, in goddess sake does it need to know my parents’ marital status? Or whether I have siblings?

This may be a good time to remind them, I am 49 years of age…Who fuckin’ cares?

Also, my annual income – Really?? My headline ‘Independent Woman’, should indicate that I do not, ever, wish to rely on anybody else and vice-versa, financially or otherwise!!

I might add, that although there are a lot of unscrupulous people in the world, not all of us are…it’s infuriating!!!

I would try not to judge anyone for their efforts in earning their own money, no matter the amount, in these times, the fact they work for it is quite refreshing.

Most certainly, if I met someone ‘face to face’ the first words out of my mouth would not be ‘Hi I’m Millie, how much do you earn a year?’