Ageing..

To finish my blog, I have written a ditty, I hope you enjoy this.

Greying hair, a wrinkly face, aching joints, a slower pace. Losing control of some bodily parts, needing a cough but it ends with a fart.

Failing eyesight, dryer skin, unwanted hair, trouble hearing.. Just a few joys which come with ageing.

We can disguise grey hair, suck in the midrift, pull back the wrinkles with a surgical lift. We try to stay young, keep up with the trends, though I’m not sure how to cease the use of ‘Depends’*

With age comes laughter, wit, sarcasm, honest opinions… maybe an orgasm??? is that what I meant or maybe what I need? I really should go now.. I think I just peed!!!

*Depends.. a brand name for incontinence pads.

 

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“Old age is no place for sissies” – Bette Davis (part 1)

If you’ve read my previous posts, you should know by now that I’m 49 years old. I’m very happy with my age, just not sure I like the shit that comes with it, if you know what I mean.

I’m well aware that we are all different and I am assuming we all age differently as well. Apart from the usual greying hair and wrinkles, other things start to happen too (to me anyway). Your hair not only turns grey, it thins out too – and not just on your head, let me tell you – under your arms which, let’s face it, is not a bad thing, and pubic hair. Why? Just why? Incidentally, my very first grey hair was in  my pubic area. I s’pose that’s where all my worries went at the time! Not quite sure what I was doing when I found it?

And where on earth does all this extra hair come from? I think someone has turned me upside down because any thinning hair on my nether regions has seemed to materialise on my face to produce a fluffy beard!

You see, us girlies (in my opinion) go through so much more crap physically than them male species – menopause for instance. Do they have menopause? No! Ladies, if you’ve already been through ‘the change’ and come out on the other side, I applaud you! *wolf whistle* Give yourselves a pat on the back!

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Fortunately (or unfortunately) I underwent this process when I was 36, which was very young apparently, but the ladies in our family are known for being impatient. The symptoms are varied but mine included hot flushes (which I still endure sometimes!), heavy periods (which cost a fortune in dracula’s teabags), and just generally feeling very drained, weak and tired. This lasted about a year!

Another downfall of aging is hearing – or lack of. Changes in hearing is common apparently. At present, my hearing seems a little….deranged. My ears zone in on high pitched sounds, for example, whistling, jingling keys – even a crying baby grinds my gears! Yet, I can’t hear someone unless they are looking directly at me. Bizarre

I also believe it is a well known fact that the brain slows down as you get older – no change for me then (#seniormoments)